im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
