Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
