this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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