Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
