one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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