he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
