he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
