When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
