I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
