have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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