i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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