Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize