This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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