we have pet lesbian snakes
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
