my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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