how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize