That's when you crack a 10am beer
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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