the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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