I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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