oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
