I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
is wine microwaveable?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize