I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize