cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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