If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
