Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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