When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
