My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
