She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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