I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
