Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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