I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
