Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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