Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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