He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
