Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
