How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think my moral compass just broke
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
