I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
