I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
