No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
