I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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