i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
