Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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