he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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