Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
