I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
