Betty ford says i'm here all night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
