I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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