I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
