saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think your dad took our porno
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
