My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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