i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
