I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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