it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
