"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
