if you like me you must not know who I am
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize