I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
