I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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