Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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