Do you still have your period?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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