you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
