My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
