Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At least life still wants to fuck me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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