It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
