No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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