is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
