Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
